Vocab

Called. Chosen. Sheep. Goats. Backslider. Filled. Etc.

Even in my earliest memories of church I remember there were always specific words that only applied there.

Same as in any other specialized field of interest, the deeper you go the more new vocabulary you’re introduced to. Some words have alternate definitions in the *gasp* SECULAR world but most don’t. Just as someone who doesn’t play *clutches pearls* Dungeons & Dragons wouldn’t immediately understand D20 or roll for damage the non-indoctrinated have no idea of the significance of phrases like they were called, or he’s backslidden or at camp three of the youth were filled!.

It doesn’t sound bad out of context but it has no significant meaning.

And that’s where they get you.

Religion is nothing if not extreme gate keeping.

Hell, even the protestant denominations can’t agree on who’s going to heaven or who is actually saved. The Baptists, Lutherans, Episcopalians, Evangelicals, et al, can’t agree past more than the basic plot line of the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre (the Jesus movie that the white guy from the Lethal Weapon movies made a few years ago).

I have a lot more to say about the whole called and chosen thing. Basically those are both loaded buzzwords that are used to manipulate those looking to fit in or just feel like they are part of something. Something bigger. Something special.

In reality it’s not much more than salesmenship pressure and the special best friend price available today only at car dealers that convinces a mark to sign on the dotted line because they have been convinced they are getting an insider deal.

I’ve seen the same happen at youth conventions (ugh, don’t remind me) and Holy Spirit Night (no, really, that’s what they call it) at camp when it seems like the next morning suddenly EVERYONE has been called into ministry and called to do great things for the church.

Within two weeks tops the endorphin rush of camp is gone and life has returned to normal.

I’ve seen it happen.

More than once.

It happened to me.

Also more than once.

This post and the ones that follow may seem disjointed and rambling for a while as I get into a groove and better present my thoughts. I have a lot of years of trauma and drama I’ve been processing through and have only recently realized that I honestly don’t know and can’t say for sure whether or not I ever believed any of it or just went to church and even bible college because that was easier than resisting (especially when I was younger) and going to a horrible bible college that completely destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence was better than being around my incredibly toxic family.

I hope you’ll stick around because there’s a lot more to say.